Day 2427 (Tuesday) 30th January 2024

This is Villefranche–sur–Mer

and this is Mandelieu-La Napoule.

It was another beautiful sunny day again today and Huw went up to the apartment to paint the ceiling in the big bedroom. There were a few idiots swimming in the sea and I went to the shop without wearing a jacket or socks – spring is in the air!

 

'No beer pong': 9 things to know before you go to a French party

When I found this article I didn’t know what beer pong was so I looked it up…

Beer pong, also known as Beirut, is a drinking game in which players throw a ping pong ball across a table with the intent of landing the ball in a cup of beer on the other end. The game typically consists of opposing teams of two or more players per side with 6 or 10 cups set up in a triangle formation on each side.  

Alcohol used: Beer

Materials required: Table, plastic cups, ping pong balls

Other names: Beirut, Six-Cup, 10-Cups

Players: Two teams of two players each

Skills: Accuracy, hand–eye coordination

DJs, Sophie and Clara, play music on the balcony of her apartment for the people in the neighbourhood during a two-hour party on April 24, 2020 in Paris during the first lockdown. (Photo by Ludovic MARIN / AFP)

If you have been lucky enough to be invited to a party by your French friends, there are a few things to keep in mind before attending.

Arrive a little late, but not too late

There is a good chance if you arrive right on time - or just a few minutes early - you will catch your host scrambling to finish preparations. 

Arriving about 10-15 minutes late is usually the recommendation, but if you are expecting to be more than 20 minutes late you should inform your host.

Expect a big pile of shoes at the door

When you arrive, ask your host whether they want people to take their shoes off. There might already be a large pile of shoes by the door, which would be your indication to remove yours before walking inside.

Taking shoes off is not just about keeping the indoor area clean (from dog poo) - if you are in a city or urban area, a lot of people live in apartments, meaning the neighbours below will probably hear a lot of what is going on upstairs. Stomping around in heels might lead to a noise complaint.

Greet everyone when you arrive 

Saying bonjour (or bonsoir) is a very important part of life in France. It feels intimidating, but French etiquette dictates that you should make an effort to greet everyone when arriving at someone's home.

It may suffice to say salut from across the room to the people sitting on the couch, but you are probably going to be expected to make your way over to them and faire la bise (give a cheek kiss). This is also the moment that you would introduce yourself to people you do not know.

When it is time to leave, exiting without saying goodbye is also frowned upon. Be sure to tell everyone 'bonne soirée' and, once again, faire la bise.

If hosting, consider leaving a note for your neighbours

This rule is less applicable if you live in a single-family home, but if you are in a shared apartment building then it is common practice to leave a small note by the staircase or elevator informing your neighbours that there may be some extra noise on Friday night.

If you want to meet your neighbours, you could also invite them to stop by.

As far as noise rules are concerned, people in France can make noise complaints when a neighbour's behaviour causes "abnormal trouble" - and the definition of "abnormal" depends on the time of day.

During the day, this means the noise is "repetitive, extreme, or prolonged".

At night - which is usually defined as being between 10pm and 7am -  the offense of tapage nocturne (night-time disturbance) exists regardless of whether it meets these criteria, but is instead based on two factors: if the offender is aware of the trouble they are causing, and if they do not take steps to remedy the disturbance.

The best way to avoid a noise complaint is to be respectful, and inviting your neighbours can be a good solution.

Know what type of party you are attending beforehand

In France, there are many different types of parties, such as crémaillères (housewarming parties), apéros (early evening drinks), dinner parties, and general, no-occasion soirées. 

As for birthday parties, people living in cities often prefer to host the event at a bar or restaurant, as apartment spaces can be small and cramped. Similarly, kids birthday parties might be hosted in parks in the summer months.

If you are going to a crémaillère, it is a good idea to bring some kind of housewarming gift to your host. Just like outside of France, something small like a plant or dish would be welcome.

For an apéro, expect there to be small savoury snacks and drinks. One thing to keep in mind is that apéro might be scheduled for 7pm, which feels dangerously close to dinner time for a lot of anglophones.

Once the apéro gets started, you may find that dinner hour has come and gone, with your French friends content to keep drinking and snacking on peanuts, chips and other salty snacks. If you are worried about the possibility of skipping dinner, consider planning ahead and having a bite to eat at home before leaving.

As for dinner parties, there are all sorts of formalities that people will warn you about - from the old myth that French women do not pour their own wine to the claim that you should not say 'bon appetit' (in reality, a lot of young people say a simple 'bon app' before starting dinner).

In truth, there are a lot of steps to a French dinner, so it's a good idea to know the order of things beforehand. That being said, do not stress too much - be respectful, say bonjour and enjoy the food.

And when it comes to the general parties - fêtes, soirées, or teufs (the colloquial way to talk about parties) - these will depend a bit on the age and personal preferences of your host.

Bring something to share

When figuring out what to bring, it will be important to know the type of party you are attending.

While chocolates are almost always a safe bet, it might be better to bring something salty or savoury to an apéro.

Some sticklers for tradition will tell you not to bring wine to a French party, as it will subtly imply to the host that their wine is not good enough to be served and yours is better.

In practice, most people are happy to receive an extra bottle of wine, and many young people even expect their friends to bring a beverage to share.

Look people in the eyes when toasting

Failing to follow this tip can bring bad luck! When saying 'tchin tchin' or santé be sure to keep eye contact - the tradition goes back decades.

Once you have done your toasting, you then wait for everyone to finish toasting then take a sip before putting your glass down. 

Don't expect to see a beer pong table

While some French people might enjoy playing card games while drinking, games intended to get party-goers inebriated are a bit less common. That means that the beer pong table young Americans might expect to see at a house party is not likely to be anywhere in sight. 

This partially has to do with space - young French people in urban areas tend to live in small, studio apartments on their own. 

Levels of drunkenness

A lot of people claim that the French do not get drunk - this is false, plenty of them do. But it is true that the heavy binge drinking and party culture that young Americans and Brits might be used to is less present - or at least it takes on a different appearance in France.

For example, the 'pre-game' party - intended to be a time where people drink as much as possible at home to avoid spending too much at bars - is not as common in France. 

That being said, many young French people enjoy going to clubs and some of them do use illegal drugs. According to Statista, almost half of French adults (44 percent) had tried marijuana, and a little over five percent had tried cocaine as of 2017.

Binge drinking has also become a greater concern in France, particularly among adolescents. A separate 2017 study found that about 44 percent of 17 year olds had, in the past 30 days, drunk over five alcoholic drinks in a single occasion.

Nevertheless - young Brits and Americans might be surprised to find that the French definition of a 'party'might solely consist of people sitting around, chatting, splitting a bottle of wine, and getting just a little pompette (tipsy).

Of course, some might be a bit more on the wild side, and this will likely depend on your host, their age, as well as the time of night you were invited to come over.