Day 1,054 (Tuesday) 28th April 2020
Day 43 and it poured with rain all morning but thankfully it cheered up in the afternoon. Tamsin and Christian brought one of my jigsaws back and borrowed another so we had a lovely chat through the window.
We had great news today – well potentially great – On May 11th our total lockdown is being lifted as long as the figures remain steady. We can travel from town to town even going as far away as 100km and we can meet people in groups of up to ten. I’m trying next to get excited because it’ll be very disappointing if the figures don’t stay steady. The beaches remain closed but they will review the whole situation at the start of June so hopefully that will happen then.
I didn’t take any photos today but these are from my extra photos file.
I started reading Bill Bryson’s ‘Mother Tongue’ this morning and found some great examples of bad English – this is the opening line of the book…
More than 300 million people in the world speak English and the rest, it sometimes seems, try to. It would be charitable to say that the results are sometimes mixed. Consider this hearty announcement in a Yugoslavian hotel. ‘The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. Turn to her straightaway,’ or this warning to motorists in Tokyo: ‘When a passenger of the foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour.’ Or these instructions gracing a packet of fast food from Italy: ‘Besmear a backing pan, previously buttered with a good tomato sauce, and, after, dispose the cannelloni, lightly distanced between them in a lovely couch.’
He also says that ‘there are more students of English in China than there are people in the United States.’ – I did not know that.
This reminded me of a lesson I found ages ago that I can only use with very advanced students and I’m always really impressed when they get them
These are real signs found in the UK.
In a toilet in a restaurant
Toilet out of order, please use the floor below
In a laundrette
Automatic washing machine; please remove all clothes when the light goes on
In a London department store
Bargain basement upstairs
In an office
After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board
In another office
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken
Outside a second-hand shop
We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines etc. why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain
Notice in a health shop window
Closed due to illness
Spotted in a safari park
Elephants please stay in your car
Seen during a conference
For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care centre on the first floor
Notice in a farmer’s field
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free but the bull charges
Message on a leaflet
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons
On a repair shop door
We can repair anything (please knock hard on the door – the bell doesn’t work.
The bull in the field charging is my favourite.
French expression of the day: Avoir des casseroles (au cul)
Why some French politicians have saucepans dangling from their butt.
Why do I need to know avoir des casseroles (au cul)?
Because, although it sounds completely nuts, French people actually use this expression quite a lot.
What does it mean?
Avoir des casseroles means ‘having pans’.
French people tend to complete the expression by au cul with means ‘in the arse’. (Cul is more colloquial than fesses, which means ‘bum’).
Avoir des casseroles au cul does not however refer to someone literally having kitchenware near their rear end.
French people use it about people (often politicians) who have had their reputation tarnished by scandal.
You don't need to say au cul, just avoir des casseroles is enough (the hanging-from-the-butt thing is implied).
A synonym is avoir un cadavre dans le placard - 'having a skeleton in the closet'.
Why pans?
Pans make a lot of noise. The expression is inspired by the image of children tying metal objects around the tail of a dog so that, when the dog moves, it make a lot of noise.
No matter how hard the person tries, they can't escape the "bang-bang-bang" of the thing they did once that everyone now associate them with.
Let's say you're Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the French former IMF director who turned world famous after he was escorted out near naked by police from a hotel in New York after an alleged sex attack.
Even if he was never convicted of anything, now il a des casseroles collés au cul - He has pans glued to his arse.
That means that whenever DSK speaks up, even if it's on the most boring economic topic imaginable, the metaphorical saucepans start banging together and people think "handcuffs! Prostitutes! Naked!"
And so it goes for most politicians with a blemished record.
Going back to the English language – this is my favourite joke of the day
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